Ben designed a hat recently that i thought was epic.

Full camo cap with white embroidered letters in caps across the front: AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.

It was bold and clean. I loved it.

But the first thought that came into my mind at the thought of wearing it was…  

I don't know if I can wear that.

There's no subtlety in those words, no creative licence to hide behind. If I wear that hat, I'm telling the world exactly who I am.

I’m telling the teachers at my kids school, the barista who makes my coffee, even the strangers I walk past in the aisles at Coles.

I'm a Christian.

And to be honest, that made me very uncomfortable.

What will they think? Will they judge me? Will they treat me differently? Will they make fun of me?

I decided pretty quickly: Yeah... I definitely can't wear that.

That's a hat for Ben. Not for me. 

So we made the stock, photographed them, launched them, and I happily admired them from a distance.

Then this week one day before we left the house Ben said, "Why don't you wear the As It Is In Heaven hat with that outfit? It'll look great."

I was about to make an excuse but before the words came out, I felt the weight of what I was actually saying.

I wasn't rejecting a hat. I was rejecting the words.

As it is in heaven.

Somewhere along the way I'd chosen my comfort over the courage to embrace Jesus words, his prayer. 

I cared more about what strangers might think than about identifying myself with Jesus.

That realisation stopped me in my tracks. I’ve stuffed up. 

Jesus, I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Help me, because the thought of wearing it genuinely scares me.

As I prayed, one verse came to mind:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)

At the time, I wasn't even sure exactly how it applied.

But I sensed the invitation in that moment was simple: trust me.

So the next morning I got dressed, put on the hat, and walked my daughter to school.

The teachers saw me, other parents saw me, even the kids at the school saw me. 

And guess what happened??

Nothing. 

Well... nothing happened externally. But internally, something shifted. Something broke free: I realised how exhausting it is to carry the weight of hiding who you are, and how freeing it is to simply belong to Jesus without apology.

I'm a woman who has been adopted into the family of God.

Forgiven! Healed! And I genuinely want others to experience that same love and wholeness in this lifetime.

That's what those five words mean to me: As it is in heaven.

Not just a slogan on a hat, A prayer! A desperate longing! And a vision of God's Kingdom breaking into ordinary places (schools, cafés, workplaces, neighbourhoods) through ordinary people who are no longer ashamed to be known as His.

Maybe your "hat" isn't actually a hat.

Maybe it's a conversation you've been avoiding or an invitation you've been scared to extend. Or just simply letting people know that your faith in Jesus is real.

Freedom often begins with one small step of obedience.

Mine happened to be putting on a hat.